In somewhere in 2000 AD, earlier part, I got involed with partners. One was Radioblue and the other was Jane. Before that time I remember telling myself and all who cared to listen to me, that "Only tomorrow can be better."
I changed. Not because of the others involved but myself. Or is it my life changed. I do not believe it is for the worse but it is what it is now. My life never changes. No do I or is it nor does me? If I am to beleave that...... fuckup is hearby....
There is always logic
Monday, 28 April 2008
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Doctor Or Not
Am I having PSTD? 22:16 24/04/2008
My Doctor said no. First I told him about this problem about 6 months to a year ago. I cannot remember when. When I phoned him about 3 weeks ago he told me to collect a letter from the clinic. I told him I find it difficult to come to the clinic unless I really need to, he said he cannot post it. I managed to get a friend to collect it for me and there was a form to fill and another letter asking me to make an appoinment with him in two weeks time. I did that. When I went there to see him he seems to remember that I have some problems about dreams and he asked me what it is. I said that I wake up frieghtened about something in the night and whan I go back to sleep I seem to see the same dream and wake up again frieghtened. In the morning I have a problem of not been fully awake. This happens quite often. Then he asked me whether I send the form back I said I did. I remember giving it to a friend of mine to post, with another letter to the lovefilms. The lovefilms letter got delivered and I know about it , as otherwise I would have problems continuing my transactions with them. So Dr Allen said that the form must have got held up in the admin transactions. He said that I do not suffer from PTSD. The problem is; is Dr Allen capable of giving a decision without looking at the form. Why did I have to fill the form? I am not very happy with this. He reckons that I have a drinking problem. Of course I drink, but I am not addicted to alcohol.
Last five years he has been at me for smoking and I stopped buying tobacco last year 23rd dec. I have not bought any since. But now he is going at me for drinking. Nagging barstard.
My Doctor said no. First I told him about this problem about 6 months to a year ago. I cannot remember when. When I phoned him about 3 weeks ago he told me to collect a letter from the clinic. I told him I find it difficult to come to the clinic unless I really need to, he said he cannot post it. I managed to get a friend to collect it for me and there was a form to fill and another letter asking me to make an appoinment with him in two weeks time. I did that. When I went there to see him he seems to remember that I have some problems about dreams and he asked me what it is. I said that I wake up frieghtened about something in the night and whan I go back to sleep I seem to see the same dream and wake up again frieghtened. In the morning I have a problem of not been fully awake. This happens quite often. Then he asked me whether I send the form back I said I did. I remember giving it to a friend of mine to post, with another letter to the lovefilms. The lovefilms letter got delivered and I know about it , as otherwise I would have problems continuing my transactions with them. So Dr Allen said that the form must have got held up in the admin transactions. He said that I do not suffer from PTSD. The problem is; is Dr Allen capable of giving a decision without looking at the form. Why did I have to fill the form? I am not very happy with this. He reckons that I have a drinking problem. Of course I drink, but I am not addicted to alcohol.
Last five years he has been at me for smoking and I stopped buying tobacco last year 23rd dec. I have not bought any since. But now he is going at me for drinking. Nagging barstard.
Monday, 21 April 2008
Way we do things
Steve davies said that on the snooker table he spend more time when practicing on experimental shots. Are we all doing that as we grow old?
Sunday, 20 April 2008
Life & Death
I do not have any idea what is going to happen next and, if I am dieing what is the difference?
Sunday, 13 April 2008
Logic
What is Logic?
The enlightened boffins of the Oxford Dictionary says this:
"logic
• noun 1 reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. 2 the ability to reason correctly. 3 (the logic of) the course of action following as a necessary consequence of. 4 a system or set of principles underlying the arrangements of elements in a computer or electronic device so as to perform a specified task."
Where do I get this thing called logic? Was I born with it? From the time of my inception I had a series of experiences. These experiences lead me to develope my own logic. As I grow older I tune my logic as more and more experiences become. Some of the logic I used ten years ago is not exactly right for me now. So my own logic changes.
So bottom line is the logic I use is learned by me with the experiences I have.
But did I bring any logic from the time before I was born?
The enlightened boffins of the Oxford Dictionary says this:
"logic
• noun 1 reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity. 2 the ability to reason correctly. 3 (the logic of) the course of action following as a necessary consequence of. 4 a system or set of principles underlying the arrangements of elements in a computer or electronic device so as to perform a specified task."
Where do I get this thing called logic? Was I born with it? From the time of my inception I had a series of experiences. These experiences lead me to develope my own logic. As I grow older I tune my logic as more and more experiences become. Some of the logic I used ten years ago is not exactly right for me now. So my own logic changes.
So bottom line is the logic I use is learned by me with the experiences I have.
But did I bring any logic from the time before I was born?
Friday, 11 April 2008
One day
I feel all neglected. It is getting more and more neglected. What am I neglecting? I wonder. I told me doctor that I feel that I have not done something and I feel I am afraid of it. And I dont know what the hell I was supposed to do. I feel that if I was a different person everything is going to be alright. But no matter how I try that person eludes me like plague. Maybe that is what I am suffering from. The plague. Now I don't want to be suffering from plague as that is common among the minorities. So I cannot suffer from something as common as that. I have to suffer from something special. One in 6 billion or so. And I think I am. I can prove it.
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